That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
