He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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