They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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