seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize