What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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