Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
