Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
