Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
