Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
