No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
