Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
