I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize