Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
