he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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