just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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