Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
