I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
please don't ironically join a cult
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