SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he was CRYING into my vagina
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
