Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
