Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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