Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize