You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
