I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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