What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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