ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
