my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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