i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Randomize
