You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
