Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
