I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
