they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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