So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
