I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
