Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
