taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
