My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It's just like the Real World with babies
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
