and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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