I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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