No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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