My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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