he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
