The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize