Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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