Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
