Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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