dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
