Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
