it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
