i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize