Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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