if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
