I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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