All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
