you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
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