Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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