is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
