you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
