I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
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