you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
