Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
false alarm, still single
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
