Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize