he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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