Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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