Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
