How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
