You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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