I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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