You can't motorboat a personality
P.S. I can't hear my feet
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
