Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
