I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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