he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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