White coat. Heels.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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