It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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